I sometimes think I am going mental. Like absolute mental. I-wanna-pull-my-own-hair kinda mental.
Okay, MOST TIMES, I feel mental. I am having a time tough with my toddler.
I don't know what is it. Maybe it's teething, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's a developmental phase. It's separation anxiety for all I know.
You know, the kinds when babies/toddlers realise that they are a different person than their mommies, and hence resort to sheer maddening tantrums to express their displeasure at the fact that mommy has "left them".
And, by "left them", I mean going to the loo to pee. Or poop. Or have water. Change clothes. Wash hands. You get the basic idea, I suppose.
So, yes, little P basically cries ALL DAY LONG, as soon as he realises that I am TWO STEPS away from him. And, so, he's stuck on my hip most of the time, or walking 1 step behind me, just to ensure that I don't run away.
The reason I am venting today, is because sometimes I miss the "easy" days of infanthood.
I say easy, because, "all" infants need, are food, comfort, and a clean tushi. THAT'S ALL.
There are no tantrums for "I want this bath time to go longer than the current 30 minutes!".
Or, loud screams if you delay in peeling off the mango and chop it into grab-able slices for little hands.
And, may the heavens help you if you try to pop a diaper or change clothes. MY GOD, THE SHEER HYSTERICS THAT FOLLOW!
You would think that toddlers generally are quite happy in running around the house with poop in their bottoms, with or without diapers.
Infants, on the other hand. AAAH! They cry and holler AS SOON AS they pee or poop. They can't stand the thought of being wet and dirty, they have so much dignity in them, bless them!
But, these little monster monkey toddlers! Gaah! They will pull the diaper/nappy/knickers from you and rush at the speed of a Concorde to the balcony, from where they will throw the diaper/nappy/knickers onto the head of an unsuspecting passerby!
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! That was little P, yet again. For the fifth time this day.
It takes me ages, I kid you not, to get him dressed. First, I have to clean his REALLY REALLY DIRTY face, an act that needs me to hold him, because he will kick the crap out of me. Or push me. Or head butt me.
Yes, apparently, toddler boys are THIS FRISKY!
And, my God, don't even get me started on how dirty those little hands can get! wowza!
Infants, on the other hand, will LAY IN ONE PLACE, probably even snooze, while you change them. They won't move an inch! Aaah, I wonder what that feels like. To change somebody who's NOT A JELLYFISH THAT STINGS!
And the feeding! Oooh, easy peasy! yes, infants do feed quite often. And very little. But, it's so easy to feed them, irrespective of whether you breastfeed or formula feed.
They stay in one place and calmly feed. No distractions, no nothing.
They don't hold monster trucks IN THEIR HANDS WHILE THEY breast feed. And try to shove that down your bra and play peekaboo with the damn truck. HIDDEN INSIDE YOUR BRA. BETWEEN YOUR BOOBS!
Or a bottle of vicks vaporub.
Don't ask me about that one. Little P is obsessed with that one. And his FOUR BOTTLES OF baby powder. He holds onto them whilst asleep!
I mean, I know babies who have hugsy toys and teddy bears and what not. But, baby powder?! Seriously?! Whatever works for him!
At least till they are six months old, infants only need milk. And that makes our job so much easier! No 4 different kinds of food items at one meal, just because we are cranky and don't like the first three options that were served to us.
For infants, you pop the boob out, and you are sorted!
For a toddler, firstly, he himself is now capable of popping the boob out, thankyouverymuch!
Yep. They learn to do that. IN PUBLIC. PULL UP YOUR SHIRT AND TRY TO UNDO YOUR BRA. IN PUBLIC. UHUH!
So, if at all yours doesn't do, and you do pop it out, in all probability, s/he will come and bite you! Because, THEY ARE TEETHING!
When you go for a stroll, to burn off your post partum fat, your infant will happily either let you carry him, or sit in his pram and watch the world go by.
Your toddler?
First, he will throw a fit because he wants you to carry him, even though he is perfectly capable of walking. Walking my ass! He is perfectly capable of running away from you, in the middle of the road, giving you a heart attack, yet again!
Then, just when you huff and puff and look all idiotic pretending that you can walk with that toddler on your hip, your toddler will decide that it's time to get down NOW! IN TODDLERS' WORLD, NOW MEANS NOW!
NOT 0.00001 SECONDS LATER.
If at all, yours is still in his pram, he will most probably either try to STAND IN IT. Or, get down and push the pram himself. While you look like an idiot trying to push an empty pram, that's loaded with vegetables by now. Might as well put it to some use, eh?!
I don't know if infants and toddlers sleep any different. Mine is still up quite a lot through the night. The difference is that in the infancy stage, you can still get them to sleep, either by rocking them, or walking them, or feeding them.
But as toddlers, THEY DECIDE, OKAY? IT'S THEIR RULES. NOT YOURS. So, don't even pretend to think that you can get them to sleep when you want them to sleep, or worst, when you want to sleep yourself!
I now wonder, why is it that, when babies are babies, we want them to grow up, and then when they do grow up, we miss the baby stage!
Tonight, I may just have to hug the damn baby powder bottle and sleep.
Okay, MOST TIMES, I feel mental. I am having a time tough with my toddler.
I don't know what is it. Maybe it's teething, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's a developmental phase. It's separation anxiety for all I know.
You know, the kinds when babies/toddlers realise that they are a different person than their mommies, and hence resort to sheer maddening tantrums to express their displeasure at the fact that mommy has "left them".
And, by "left them", I mean going to the loo to pee. Or poop. Or have water. Change clothes. Wash hands. You get the basic idea, I suppose.
So, yes, little P basically cries ALL DAY LONG, as soon as he realises that I am TWO STEPS away from him. And, so, he's stuck on my hip most of the time, or walking 1 step behind me, just to ensure that I don't run away.
The reason I am venting today, is because sometimes I miss the "easy" days of infanthood.
I say easy, because, "all" infants need, are food, comfort, and a clean tushi. THAT'S ALL.
There are no tantrums for "I want this bath time to go longer than the current 30 minutes!".
Or, loud screams if you delay in peeling off the mango and chop it into grab-able slices for little hands.
And, may the heavens help you if you try to pop a diaper or change clothes. MY GOD, THE SHEER HYSTERICS THAT FOLLOW!
You would think that toddlers generally are quite happy in running around the house with poop in their bottoms, with or without diapers.
Infants, on the other hand. AAAH! They cry and holler AS SOON AS they pee or poop. They can't stand the thought of being wet and dirty, they have so much dignity in them, bless them!
But, these little monster monkey toddlers! Gaah! They will pull the diaper/nappy/knickers from you and rush at the speed of a Concorde to the balcony, from where they will throw the diaper/nappy/knickers onto the head of an unsuspecting passerby!
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! That was little P, yet again. For the fifth time this day.
It takes me ages, I kid you not, to get him dressed. First, I have to clean his REALLY REALLY DIRTY face, an act that needs me to hold him, because he will kick the crap out of me. Or push me. Or head butt me.
Yes, apparently, toddler boys are THIS FRISKY!
And, my God, don't even get me started on how dirty those little hands can get! wowza!
Infants, on the other hand, will LAY IN ONE PLACE, probably even snooze, while you change them. They won't move an inch! Aaah, I wonder what that feels like. To change somebody who's NOT A JELLYFISH THAT STINGS!
And the feeding! Oooh, easy peasy! yes, infants do feed quite often. And very little. But, it's so easy to feed them, irrespective of whether you breastfeed or formula feed.
They stay in one place and calmly feed. No distractions, no nothing.
They don't hold monster trucks IN THEIR HANDS WHILE THEY breast feed. And try to shove that down your bra and play peekaboo with the damn truck. HIDDEN INSIDE YOUR BRA. BETWEEN YOUR BOOBS!
Or a bottle of vicks vaporub.
Don't ask me about that one. Little P is obsessed with that one. And his FOUR BOTTLES OF baby powder. He holds onto them whilst asleep!
I mean, I know babies who have hugsy toys and teddy bears and what not. But, baby powder?! Seriously?! Whatever works for him!
At least till they are six months old, infants only need milk. And that makes our job so much easier! No 4 different kinds of food items at one meal, just because we are cranky and don't like the first three options that were served to us.
For infants, you pop the boob out, and you are sorted!
For a toddler, firstly, he himself is now capable of popping the boob out, thankyouverymuch!
Yep. They learn to do that. IN PUBLIC. PULL UP YOUR SHIRT AND TRY TO UNDO YOUR BRA. IN PUBLIC. UHUH!
So, if at all yours doesn't do, and you do pop it out, in all probability, s/he will come and bite you! Because, THEY ARE TEETHING!
When you go for a stroll, to burn off your post partum fat, your infant will happily either let you carry him, or sit in his pram and watch the world go by.
Your toddler?
First, he will throw a fit because he wants you to carry him, even though he is perfectly capable of walking. Walking my ass! He is perfectly capable of running away from you, in the middle of the road, giving you a heart attack, yet again!
Then, just when you huff and puff and look all idiotic pretending that you can walk with that toddler on your hip, your toddler will decide that it's time to get down NOW! IN TODDLERS' WORLD, NOW MEANS NOW!
NOT 0.00001 SECONDS LATER.
If at all, yours is still in his pram, he will most probably either try to STAND IN IT. Or, get down and push the pram himself. While you look like an idiot trying to push an empty pram, that's loaded with vegetables by now. Might as well put it to some use, eh?!
I don't know if infants and toddlers sleep any different. Mine is still up quite a lot through the night. The difference is that in the infancy stage, you can still get them to sleep, either by rocking them, or walking them, or feeding them.
But as toddlers, THEY DECIDE, OKAY? IT'S THEIR RULES. NOT YOURS. So, don't even pretend to think that you can get them to sleep when you want them to sleep, or worst, when you want to sleep yourself!
I now wonder, why is it that, when babies are babies, we want them to grow up, and then when they do grow up, we miss the baby stage!
Tonight, I may just have to hug the damn baby powder bottle and sleep.
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