Seriously, why are we our own worst enemies?
What is it with women not being able to stand another's happiness and gloating in the latter's tragedy?
Your "best friend" put on some weight? Aaha, time to celebrate with some wine, eh? After all, wine isn't one known to add to the pounds!
I have always had a battle with the bulge. Partly, it is the genes, partly, it is me. Okay, fine, a large part is me!
Even as a child, I was known to be the fattest one amongst all the cousins, and the Bengali ones smugly blamed the Sindhi side of me. Whatever made them happy!
Ditto, as a teenager, and then a working professional in my early twenties. It wasn't until I got married and moved cities, and actually, finally started eating right, that the weight began to drop. but then I got pregnant! HA!
Any how...
Why do we women make such derogatory, frivolous comments about our friends and acquaintances when they pile on the pounds?
This habit takes on epic proportions once we give birth. Giving birth is a blessing, and only we women can enjoy this, and I don't mean this in a sexist way.
It's just how nature meant it to be, and there's nothing we can do about it. Our bodies carry another person for 3 months short of a year, so is it not acceptable that there will be extra kilos, even after the exit of this little person?
Post partum fat isn't easy to get rid of. Some have it very lucky, Others, like yours truly, continue with the battle.
For some, breast feeding helps knock off the kilos, for others, it doesn't. A lot of women, in fact, tend to add on whilst breast feeding.
Does my weight bother you? I wouldn't think so!
Does it bother you that I eat like a pig? Or that I look like one?
If it does, then I have a simple solution for you: DON'T BOTHER BEING FRIENDS WITH ME! IT'S THAT SIMPLE!
Nobody needs judgemental people in their lives, least of all a new mom, who has her own emotional baggage to deal with. Her post partum weight gain is nobody's concern, except maybe her doctor.
Here, I recall such some very beautiful comments I have received ever since I gave birth to little P.
For the sake of not wanting to hurt anybody, I will try and refrain from being too specific, even though, I was horribly hurt when these comments were thrown at me.
Acquaintance 1: It doesn't look like you've lost weight! I wouldn't know, if you hadn't told me!
Then, touching my breasts... YES, she actually did that... it's these boobs, I tell you. They are
too big!
Err, okay, thank you, "FRIEND", for touching me inappropriately and then calling me fat in a nice way.
Acquaintance 2 (In a text message): Hey, fatso! what's up? How's are fat mommsy and baby doing?
Umm, not much. Just thinking of how to appropriately get back at you without being a complete B**CH and ruining our "friendship".
Somebody from the In-laws: Oh wow! She's become SO FAT! WOW, I MEAN SO FAT!
Hey, thanks, you really really mean and nasty person with no feelings whatsoever! May you drown and die in coconut chutney!!!
Somebody from MY SIDE!: How come you've put on so much weight?! Is something wrong?!
Yes, something is indeed "wrong"! I just gave birth! To a baby. not a bag of chips, you moron!
Somebody from the extended family: Why did you allow yourself to be SO FAT?! Oh, c'mon! Don't blame the breastfeeding and cesarean!
Hey, aunty! Isn't your own daughter like really really fat?! I mean sooper, dooper, really really sooper dooper fat?! For, like a century, even though she didn't breastfeed?
Fat aunty in the neighborhood: OH MY GOD! In real aunty-who-watches-too-many-TV serials-style: you've become so fat!!!
Yes, aunty! It's a shame that even though you've been walking in this very park for a zillion years, you seemed to have not shed a single gram. DITTO, YOUR VERY OWN DAUGHTER!
Friend: Oh, don't worry. I was also fat after the baby. I mean, I wasn't THIS FAT! NONO! I was 60 kgs, you know! OMG!
Me: Do I know you, you nasty woman with great genes?!
What is it with women not being able to stand another's happiness and gloating in the latter's tragedy?
Your "best friend" put on some weight? Aaha, time to celebrate with some wine, eh? After all, wine isn't one known to add to the pounds!
I have always had a battle with the bulge. Partly, it is the genes, partly, it is me. Okay, fine, a large part is me!
Even as a child, I was known to be the fattest one amongst all the cousins, and the Bengali ones smugly blamed the Sindhi side of me. Whatever made them happy!
Ditto, as a teenager, and then a working professional in my early twenties. It wasn't until I got married and moved cities, and actually, finally started eating right, that the weight began to drop. but then I got pregnant! HA!
Any how...
Why do we women make such derogatory, frivolous comments about our friends and acquaintances when they pile on the pounds?
This habit takes on epic proportions once we give birth. Giving birth is a blessing, and only we women can enjoy this, and I don't mean this in a sexist way.
It's just how nature meant it to be, and there's nothing we can do about it. Our bodies carry another person for 3 months short of a year, so is it not acceptable that there will be extra kilos, even after the exit of this little person?
Post partum fat isn't easy to get rid of. Some have it very lucky, Others, like yours truly, continue with the battle.
For some, breast feeding helps knock off the kilos, for others, it doesn't. A lot of women, in fact, tend to add on whilst breast feeding.
Does my weight bother you? I wouldn't think so!
Does it bother you that I eat like a pig? Or that I look like one?
If it does, then I have a simple solution for you: DON'T BOTHER BEING FRIENDS WITH ME! IT'S THAT SIMPLE!
Nobody needs judgemental people in their lives, least of all a new mom, who has her own emotional baggage to deal with. Her post partum weight gain is nobody's concern, except maybe her doctor.
Here, I recall such some very beautiful comments I have received ever since I gave birth to little P.
For the sake of not wanting to hurt anybody, I will try and refrain from being too specific, even though, I was horribly hurt when these comments were thrown at me.
Acquaintance 1: It doesn't look like you've lost weight! I wouldn't know, if you hadn't told me!
Then, touching my breasts... YES, she actually did that... it's these boobs, I tell you. They are
too big!
Err, okay, thank you, "FRIEND", for touching me inappropriately and then calling me fat in a nice way.
Acquaintance 2 (In a text message): Hey, fatso! what's up? How's are fat mommsy and baby doing?
Umm, not much. Just thinking of how to appropriately get back at you without being a complete B**CH and ruining our "friendship".
Somebody from the In-laws: Oh wow! She's become SO FAT! WOW, I MEAN SO FAT!
Hey, thanks, you really really mean and nasty person with no feelings whatsoever! May you drown and die in coconut chutney!!!
Somebody from MY SIDE!: How come you've put on so much weight?! Is something wrong?!
Yes, something is indeed "wrong"! I just gave birth! To a baby. not a bag of chips, you moron!
Somebody from the extended family: Why did you allow yourself to be SO FAT?! Oh, c'mon! Don't blame the breastfeeding and cesarean!
Hey, aunty! Isn't your own daughter like really really fat?! I mean sooper, dooper, really really sooper dooper fat?! For, like a century, even though she didn't breastfeed?
Fat aunty in the neighborhood: OH MY GOD! In real aunty-who-watches-too-many-TV serials-style: you've become so fat!!!
Yes, aunty! It's a shame that even though you've been walking in this very park for a zillion years, you seemed to have not shed a single gram. DITTO, YOUR VERY OWN DAUGHTER!
Friend: Oh, don't worry. I was also fat after the baby. I mean, I wasn't THIS FAT! NONO! I was 60 kgs, you know! OMG!
Me: Do I know you, you nasty woman with great genes?!
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