I once read this somewhere and it so beautifully described motherhood in such a small sentence. It read:
Being a mom is knowing what it's like to have your heart walk outside of your body for the rest of your life.
It's so excruciatingly honest, it hurts!
That's what it feels like, having your heart outside of you, when your baby takes his first steps, and falls. That's heartbreak, not when your boyfriend doesn't call. That pain doesn't even come close to the pain you feel when "something" happens to the little being that was inside of you for so long, and is now out, and is so happy in his new-found freedom.
Being a mom isn't easy. Not in the I-haven't-brushed-my-teeth-or-hair in-days kind of hardship, but the hardship and difficulty in accepting that things are going to happen to your child, things that will be out of your control. That's the difficult part.
I don't care about the knotty hair and the yellow teeth and the age-old PJs and the stinking-of-milk lingerie. NO
I care about what happens to my child when he is out of my earshot and eyesight.
Here are a few things that make motherhood difficult and bother the first time new mom in me. Maybe I will be less finicky next around, if there ever will be a next time! Maybe, I won't! I don't know,
But, right now, in this moment, I do care what happens to him. It's my job to care, and it will be my job till the time he can grow up to defend himself. Till then, I am his voice, I am his strength, I am his will power, and I am his protector.
1) It bothers me that if, for reasons out of my control, I am unable to give him food, he doesn't eat well. He doesn't even eat half the amount that he eats when I feed him.
And, I am not even a forceful YOU HAVE TO EAT kind of mom! If he turns his face away, I back off. But, I do innovate in my style of getting him to eat his usual quantity.
Whether it is getting him to sit in his booster seat and pretend feed the seat itself, or sit atop the kitchen table top and play with pots and pans and feed them. Or even stand in the open balcony and pretend feed all the crows and the cars around us; I do put in time and effort.
2) It bothers me that he "doesn't allow"anybody else to pop his diaper on. Yes, he is a toddler and we do our hands full with him, but, it's his "job" to monkey around and putting a diaper on is an obstacle in his monkey business. And, so, he runs away from it, and I run behind him, Up and down the house, once. SOMETIMES TWICE.
Sometimes, I end up popping it on while he's standing, because that's how he will allow me to do so. But, I don't give in or blame him for being a toddler.
3) It bothers me that when I am out of earshot, he gets scolded. It really rattles me. In fact, it shakes me to inexplicable anger.
4) Similarly, it really really bothers me when this is done in the name of "teaching him".
5) Even more so, when, in the name of "love" he gets smacked on his bottom. I am sorry, that's my child you are laying YOUR HANDS ON.
No matter what, I will not accept it. There can be no reason for it. Not happening.
6) It is even more worrying when he walks around with a dirt bottom at times, despite him being "cleaned" because he ran away from the task.
7) It's not cool to tell me what to do with my own child. I don't need your lessons on how to oil his hair and when to oil his hair. I want to do it my way, learn it my way as we go along and make mistakes, yet, get up and shrug it off, and walk off.
I might not know what I am doing, and I am fine with it. I know when he needs a bath, or when he doesn't. In the same way, I know when to put him to sleep, and I will definitely not be waking him up just because you think I should.
He will wake up of his own accord and that's fine be me.
8) It bothers me that you sometimes pretend that he's your child and you can do whatever the heck you can with him.
I am sorry, was it you who gave your womb on rent for nine months and your boobs for 15 months and counting? No, right? So, back off and let me mommy him.
SERIOUSLY?! I MEAN, SERIOUSLY?!
Being a mom is knowing what it's like to have your heart walk outside of your body for the rest of your life.
It's so excruciatingly honest, it hurts!
That's what it feels like, having your heart outside of you, when your baby takes his first steps, and falls. That's heartbreak, not when your boyfriend doesn't call. That pain doesn't even come close to the pain you feel when "something" happens to the little being that was inside of you for so long, and is now out, and is so happy in his new-found freedom.
Being a mom isn't easy. Not in the I-haven't-brushed-my-teeth-or-hair in-days kind of hardship, but the hardship and difficulty in accepting that things are going to happen to your child, things that will be out of your control. That's the difficult part.
I don't care about the knotty hair and the yellow teeth and the age-old PJs and the stinking-of-milk lingerie. NO
I care about what happens to my child when he is out of my earshot and eyesight.
Here are a few things that make motherhood difficult and bother the first time new mom in me. Maybe I will be less finicky next around, if there ever will be a next time! Maybe, I won't! I don't know,
But, right now, in this moment, I do care what happens to him. It's my job to care, and it will be my job till the time he can grow up to defend himself. Till then, I am his voice, I am his strength, I am his will power, and I am his protector.
1) It bothers me that if, for reasons out of my control, I am unable to give him food, he doesn't eat well. He doesn't even eat half the amount that he eats when I feed him.
And, I am not even a forceful YOU HAVE TO EAT kind of mom! If he turns his face away, I back off. But, I do innovate in my style of getting him to eat his usual quantity.
Whether it is getting him to sit in his booster seat and pretend feed the seat itself, or sit atop the kitchen table top and play with pots and pans and feed them. Or even stand in the open balcony and pretend feed all the crows and the cars around us; I do put in time and effort.
2) It bothers me that he "doesn't allow"anybody else to pop his diaper on. Yes, he is a toddler and we do our hands full with him, but, it's his "job" to monkey around and putting a diaper on is an obstacle in his monkey business. And, so, he runs away from it, and I run behind him, Up and down the house, once. SOMETIMES TWICE.
Sometimes, I end up popping it on while he's standing, because that's how he will allow me to do so. But, I don't give in or blame him for being a toddler.
3) It bothers me that when I am out of earshot, he gets scolded. It really rattles me. In fact, it shakes me to inexplicable anger.
4) Similarly, it really really bothers me when this is done in the name of "teaching him".
5) Even more so, when, in the name of "love" he gets smacked on his bottom. I am sorry, that's my child you are laying YOUR HANDS ON.
No matter what, I will not accept it. There can be no reason for it. Not happening.
6) It is even more worrying when he walks around with a dirt bottom at times, despite him being "cleaned" because he ran away from the task.
7) It's not cool to tell me what to do with my own child. I don't need your lessons on how to oil his hair and when to oil his hair. I want to do it my way, learn it my way as we go along and make mistakes, yet, get up and shrug it off, and walk off.
I might not know what I am doing, and I am fine with it. I know when he needs a bath, or when he doesn't. In the same way, I know when to put him to sleep, and I will definitely not be waking him up just because you think I should.
He will wake up of his own accord and that's fine be me.
8) It bothers me that you sometimes pretend that he's your child and you can do whatever the heck you can with him.
I am sorry, was it you who gave your womb on rent for nine months and your boobs for 15 months and counting? No, right? So, back off and let me mommy him.
SERIOUSLY?! I MEAN, SERIOUSLY?!
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