Being pregnant is a bit like being in an X-Men movie. You get weird abnormal powers and they disappear as soon as the pregnancy is over.
Just like any other pregnant woman, I suppose, I had developed this habit of rubbing my bump and talking to it. Every time I saw something new and exciting, I would say, "Oh look! There's blah and blah!"
Same with eating anything mouth-watering. I would explain to the bump what I was eating as if I was taking it on a culinary ride. The only difference was that I didn't exactly look like Nigella Lawson. Okay, not even a bit like her.
Fine, not even REMOTELY! OKAY! I GET IT! I DEFINITELY WILL NOT LOOK LIKE HER IN A MILLION YEARS!
Moving on...!
So this X-Men-like quality took on epic proportions everytime I felt sick or unwell. Considering that the current scenario spelt disaster, I looked a bit possessed rubbing my by-now-fairly-visible belly and talking to it.
I was quickly admitted and we graciously allowed them to do so without any exchange of question and answer.
This wasn't just a normal admission in a hospital room on a normal bed.
This was me, remember?! My penchant for weird luck was back again.
Because of the extremely low-lying placenta, called Placenta Praevia in medical terms, my pregnancy was at a severe risk of terminating itself given the blood loss.
Thus, my quick-thinking doctor decided to LITERALLY keep me almost upside down for two nights and days chained to the hospital bed. The head of the bed was moved lower, or rather, my legs and back were at a 45 degree higher than the rest of my body.
This is exactly how I lay for more than 48 hours.
Here comes the fun part: ALERT!! GRAPHIC TOILET HUMOUR COMING UP!
This is how I pissed as well. YUP. With a bed pan under my gigantic bottom, I did the small job. Of course it wasn't pretty. The whole damn thing would run down my back and in other weird places.
But, I somehow managed to maintain a bit of my dignity AND REFUSED TO GO FOR THE BIG JOB IN THIS FASHION. OH NONONO! That wasn't happening. Sure, I had oodles of love for the baby, but no way was I doing this.
Luckily, the nurse relented and I was allowed to stand up and look DOWN at my feet for a change. PHEW!
The reports weren't what we were expecting. I hadn't even completed 3 months, or 1 trimester, of pregnancy, and it wasn't looking viable in the given condition.
I spent the next 3-4 months working from home. And this wasn't the usual WFH. This was, literally, back breaking shit loads of work, sometime exceeding 14 hours a day. And weekends too, at times.
The 45 degree nuisance was, of course, there to stay. On the doctor's orders, the husband went and bought SEVEN pillows, which were stacked under my legs, and I would lay this the whole time when I wasn't working. I would even lay back and eat, the orders were that strict!
Of course, I would wait for the customary ONE BIG BURP to suggest the food had been digested, and go back to my LOVELY SEVEN PILLOWS.
Considering that I wasn't even allowed to stand for more a couple of minutes, I took great advantage and managed to get some otherwise unachievable work done ;)
The husband learnt how to cook, for one! I was the queen of his world, and man! Was I enjoying it?!
The saying "eating like a pig" was written with me in mind, in my pregnant avatar. I remember I once ate upwards of FOUR SAMOSAS!!! I felt a bit of a bully, or maybe I didn't! Who cares?!
At this point, I feel a bit like Lindsay Lohan in that movie where there's always bad luck in store for her.
This time, some really shitty news. The good part? It wasn't about the pregnancy.
Just like any other pregnant woman, I suppose, I had developed this habit of rubbing my bump and talking to it. Every time I saw something new and exciting, I would say, "Oh look! There's blah and blah!"
Same with eating anything mouth-watering. I would explain to the bump what I was eating as if I was taking it on a culinary ride. The only difference was that I didn't exactly look like Nigella Lawson. Okay, not even a bit like her.
Fine, not even REMOTELY! OKAY! I GET IT! I DEFINITELY WILL NOT LOOK LIKE HER IN A MILLION YEARS!
Moving on...!
So this X-Men-like quality took on epic proportions everytime I felt sick or unwell. Considering that the current scenario spelt disaster, I looked a bit possessed rubbing my by-now-fairly-visible belly and talking to it.
I was quickly admitted and we graciously allowed them to do so without any exchange of question and answer.
This wasn't just a normal admission in a hospital room on a normal bed.
This was me, remember?! My penchant for weird luck was back again.
Because of the extremely low-lying placenta, called Placenta Praevia in medical terms, my pregnancy was at a severe risk of terminating itself given the blood loss.
Thus, my quick-thinking doctor decided to LITERALLY keep me almost upside down for two nights and days chained to the hospital bed. The head of the bed was moved lower, or rather, my legs and back were at a 45 degree higher than the rest of my body.
This is exactly how I lay for more than 48 hours.
Here comes the fun part: ALERT!! GRAPHIC TOILET HUMOUR COMING UP!
This is how I pissed as well. YUP. With a bed pan under my gigantic bottom, I did the small job. Of course it wasn't pretty. The whole damn thing would run down my back and in other weird places.
But, I somehow managed to maintain a bit of my dignity AND REFUSED TO GO FOR THE BIG JOB IN THIS FASHION. OH NONONO! That wasn't happening. Sure, I had oodles of love for the baby, but no way was I doing this.
Luckily, the nurse relented and I was allowed to stand up and look DOWN at my feet for a change. PHEW!
The reports weren't what we were expecting. I hadn't even completed 3 months, or 1 trimester, of pregnancy, and it wasn't looking viable in the given condition.
I spent the next 3-4 months working from home. And this wasn't the usual WFH. This was, literally, back breaking shit loads of work, sometime exceeding 14 hours a day. And weekends too, at times.
The 45 degree nuisance was, of course, there to stay. On the doctor's orders, the husband went and bought SEVEN pillows, which were stacked under my legs, and I would lay this the whole time when I wasn't working. I would even lay back and eat, the orders were that strict!
Of course, I would wait for the customary ONE BIG BURP to suggest the food had been digested, and go back to my LOVELY SEVEN PILLOWS.
Considering that I wasn't even allowed to stand for more a couple of minutes, I took great advantage and managed to get some otherwise unachievable work done ;)
The husband learnt how to cook, for one! I was the queen of his world, and man! Was I enjoying it?!
The saying "eating like a pig" was written with me in mind, in my pregnant avatar. I remember I once ate upwards of FOUR SAMOSAS!!! I felt a bit of a bully, or maybe I didn't! Who cares?!
At this point, I feel a bit like Lindsay Lohan in that movie where there's always bad luck in store for her.
This time, some really shitty news. The good part? It wasn't about the pregnancy.
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